Weekend

This past weekend was quite eventful. On Saturday, MJ and I went to Sarah’s cousin’s wedding. Overall, I’d say there are quite a few similarities between Chinese weddings which I’ve been to and this one. As for comparisons with “Canadians” weddings, I’m not quite sure since the only wedding I’ve been to was a wedding on ice. Both weddings go on for majority of the day from early in the morning to late in the evening. Many traditions exists to show respect for both families.

The day started at the church with the typical reading of the vows and being blessed by a pastor. There was lots of singing going on and we were constantly standing and sitting the entire time. I didn’t understand anything during the ceremony since it was all done in Swahili. After the ceremony, Sarah introduced us to her family… which seemed like an endless list of uncles and aunts and cousins. We then all piled into buses and were sent to the mall for pictures, after that we all went to Sarah’s house for lunch. When I say all, I mean literally ALL. The house was filled with around 80 people all eating together.

Later on we prepped for the evening reception. I noticed was that on our invitations it clearly stated that the reception was to start at 6pm. Since Sarah was busy with her family affairs we went to the wedding at 6pm by ourselves to realize no one was actually there. It wasn’t until about 8pm that approximately half of 500 guests had arrived. The concept of time is definitely not the same as Canada, its one thing to be late a couple minutes, but to show up hours after the published time seems a bit extreme.

The wedding reception was decorated very extravagantly with easily over 1000 roses hanging around the head table and fabric draped across the ceilings and chairs. It turns out that for Tanzanians weddings, the families divide up into committees where they each take on a role such as entertainment, food, transport….etc. It’s neat how the families come together and the planning of the wedding turns into bonding time for the families. During the evening, there were a couple performances going on. I was asked to perform my silver plate dance and I think it definitely was a hit. It’s a custom to throw money at the entertainer if you like what you see. I received a good amount of pocket money, although I found it a bit awkward picking up the money after I performed. We had some funny members of the audience come up and comically mock me with my plate definitely had some good laughs.

The cake they had was a combination of about 10 cakes. The groom and bride were to give a cake to each side of the family and to key persons on each side. There were also a number of symbolic gifts were given by the parents and grandparents of each side. Some gifts were clothing, a hoe, spears, knife...etc. Months before the wedding, the groom also had to pay a dowry to the bride’s family. Depending on the tribe the dowry could be from a simple payment or lengthy list of specific items to be collected.

After the necessary traditions were carried out, we finally ate supper at 10pm. I was definitely starving by that time, after eating we still had a 2 hour drive home so left the reception but I’m sure the festivities lasted past midnight.

Seeing the wedding made me realize how little I know about Chinese wedding traditions. I know a little bit about certain symbolic gestures, but overall not very much. I guess I’ve been Canadianized over the last couple years. Some day when I choose to walk down the aisle I wasn’t to incorporate the traditions into the big day. I think it’s very important for me to stick to my roots and I’m very proud of it. Even though my family has immigrated to Canada, I want generations down the road to still speak Chinese and follow at least some of the old customs and traditions. It won’t be easy, but I want to put an honest effort in trying to preserve it.