Awesome weekend :)

The past couple days have been pretty fun. Last Thursday we helped out at the Free Market Workshops at Trent University.

We had the chance to learn how to do silk screen clothing and also put our creativity to the test and created recycled projects with old books. I'll take some pictures once I'm completely done with the book. Here's some from the silk screening. Andrea made the pretty flowery deisgn, I made the sun and another girl made the bird one.

I want to have my own silk screening materials now, it was so much fun and I could create other things with it.

This past Saturday, Sean organized a road hockey tournament on his street. Hot chocolate, candy and even our own Kombe kup :) Also other awards like MVP.....etc.

Later on during the evening we had a pumpkin carving night. Carved 9 pumpkins in total were carved, some were even over 20lbs. It was a lot fun, especially baking the pumpkin seeds...mmmm...mmm good... :)

Things haven't been so cheeky the last little while, this exchange definately has it's ups and downs. I was thinking back to things from our training session in Ancaster in the beginning. At one point when we were reflecting, we were told to tell everyone about our "fear" that we had about the program. Trying to think back to what the Canadians said verses the Tanzanians. Most of the Canadians said sickness or cultural shock from what I remember. As for the Tanzanians, just about all of them said "deselection". Deselection is removal from the program. It's a bit odd that they are scared of that. A met a past supervisor last week and he said you have to think of it this way. "As Canadians what's the worst thing that could happen if you got deselected? You'd pout about it then go home and then go to that other country some other time. For the other participants, having the chance to come to Canada is literally once in a life time opportunity. For them to go home due to deselection would be basically an embarassment for not only them but their families.

This may explain the reluctance with certain activities. hhmm maybe things are starting to make sense a bit more...

Pondering...

The choices we make, shape our future. The regrets we have do us nothing, all they do is invade our minds and blind us from what right in front. All we can do is just take a leap of faith and see what happends.

There's been a couple times the past couple months where I've pondered and said to myself "what the hell am I doing". Then I realize I'm doing the things I'm doing because it just makes me happy. I'm doing the things I do because it makes me smile. Although, somethings will cause me heart ache later on, so what. Why give up something that makes you happy when you don't necesarily have to.

I've thought about it several times.... why did I come on this exchange? I gave up so many aspects of my life that I was "working" on to come on this. Is it really worth it? Will I regret it? I'm not sure..... but I do know that whatever reason got me to go for this in the first place will work itself out. Timing is everything and this just so happend to fall on my lap.

I realized after talking to my friend Judith from Germany today, that I like taking the leap of faith. As much as I enjoy "planning" my life, I'm always willing to change it. I like having the security of having some sort of plan for the future, but ofcourse it's not set in stone. I've been fortunate that the past couple years things have fallen into place. Even after a bad break-up a couple years ago, ending up at Mount Allison by accident, getting my pilot's license by accident, taking the venture capital class by accident, and so many more things... so happend but they all turned out with a happy ending. I don't believe that there is someone controlling by life way up high, but I do think that people can put a positive spin on everything and sometimes you just have to give it time. And I think right now I'm doing that... giving it time to figure itself out.

I miss so many things from back home... France, Chad, Mimi... my family and most of all my lil nephew Jaden. I'm sad I'll miss the day he walks but I'll have so many more chances to play with him and teach him things.... Just like how time just needs to take its course and figure itself out, and I just have to be patient and wait....

Ended with a Bang....

There's always a bright side to everything. This past week was a long better than the last, I've enjoyed the week and the weekend. There are still some issues bothering me, but I'm just trying to not them get to me. If it's not going to bother me in 6 months, then I just don't have the effort in me to dwell on it. I have to get into the habit of writing smaller but more frequent blogs.... these giant entries are taking forever to write.

Last Tuesday was my Group's turn to run the EAD (Educational Activity Day) our topic was community. We decided to focus on wildlife within the community, so we had a tour at a zoo! Saw some cute animals and even a Camel! Tasha the camel almost kissed me, but then I was worried about her breath so I stayed my distance away. It was a bit rainy so we had to hide under umbrellas for more most of the morning.

This past weekend was very packed with events and activities. We had Friday off from our work placements because we had to be at a Breakfast called "Person's Breakfast" at 6:30 AM. Definitely a bright and early morning that day. The objective of the Person's Breakfast was to celebrate what has been done in terms of human rights issues, such as Women being recognized as a person and also to raise awareness on what still needs to be done in human rights. It was a fun event, we saw the raging grannies sing and then helped clean up.

Later on that evening, we helped out with the Jamaican Self-Help Caribbean Irie Dinner. mmmmm the food was soo good!

Then off to Camp Kawartha Environment Centre for our Mid-Project Weekend.

It was a great weekend! It was meant for teambuilding and basically a check-in time for the program since it's just about half way through the canadian phase. The location was AWESOME! Right on the lake, we all stayed in little cabins in the woods. It reminded me of little kid camp memories. We watched the sunset and had some star gazing sessions too. The leaves were gorgeous colours too! I loved it.
The most exciting part of the weekend was the high ropes course. It was to build teamwork and motivation. First we did some rockwall climbing, which I've done several times before... most of us made it to the top and rang the bell.


The next task on the course was this activity called "flying squirrel". It was basically a giant light pole with a small 1.5ft squared platform on the top.


We had to fit 4 people on the top and then do a trust lean. My group was the most daring :) we went first out of everyone, at that point you think "oh this isn't so bad" THEN when you actually get to the top, your knees are shaking so much you can barely stand. It was exhilarating!!

During the rest of the time we talked about issues we had and ways to solve them. We also played RISK!! The board game where you try to take over the world :)

I was the pink... not doing so well... It's such an addicting game and it lasts forever, but it's so much fun!!!

After we left Camp Kawartha, this evening the Amnesty International Group in Peterborough invited us to one of their neighbours house for dinner to tell us about Amnesty (Organization focusing on human rights). It was a lot of fun! We went hiking through the woods and saw some amazing scenery, this was around Long Lake.




You might be wondering why I titled my blog "Ended with a Bang.." that's exactly how the night ended on our way home. On the way after we got dropped off in town, we got into a small car accident. :s Everyone in the vehicle was fine, no one hurt and no one seriously hurt from the other vehicle. It just shook us up for a little bit. Thankfully no one was hurt, just the van......

but all is well....life goes on....

Mid way ish...

We're almost half way through the Canadian portion...WHOOHOO!

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving. I have 4 turkey dinners :s lotsa fun...














Tomorrow morning, we'll be getting up at 5:30 AM to help out at Person's Breakfast Fundraising Event. I'll tell more about the event once I know what it actually is.
Then later on that day we'll be helping out at a Caribean Fundraising Dinner. After that, it's our Mid Project Weekend. We'll be spending the weekend at Camp Kawartha Environment Centre, not sure exactly what we'll eb doing at this point. It will probably include more team building activities and talking about issues with program...etc.

Since this will be going on all weekend, I won't have access to internet until late Sunday.

Write more stuff later on...

Bye Bye to "honeymoon" stage...

There are stages to group development; there are phases that we have to go through. I understand that each of us is raised differently and that we come from different backgrounds. I understand that despite our differences and perspectives we still have to somehow work together... I know that, I know that.....

I knew that this experience would be frustrating, but I never realized how frustrating it could actually get. The worst feeling of all is when you know something is bothering you, but nothing you do seems to be affecting it. When you feel completely helpless in what you want.

This program has so much potential and so much power it could put forth, but it's all determined by the participants. Which is a very promising and encouraging mindset, but it also means that a couple negative attitudes from the group becomes contagious amongst all.

Ultimately, participation is what really bothers me the most. We can't build a group unless everyone takes part in activities and speaks up with what they want. I'm the type of person who needs feedback and needs people to respond to me. I'm the type of person who wants to know what you like or don't like. It's hard working as a group when people aren't up front with what their opinions instead people stare at you blankly. Yes, it could be a language barrier but things have been explained and explain so many times and other situations have arised where it’s obvious that the language barrier is not the factor.

Some parts of the program are also very restricting. The program strives to have us go through experiential learning and informal education. I'm all for it, but there seems to be no guidance where needed and too many rules where you don't want them. Tight rules of not being able to leave the community, telling us to be creative with our educational days but not giving us the resources, lack of standards for the days. It is constantly emphasized to us that we have to experience the community and the lifestyle, hence why we live with host families and work with local organizations. We're also constantly reminded of non to be involved in exclusive activities and relationships. But it's so contradicting that as much as we are warned not to be exclusive, it’s frustrating of all families, one family is having to travel on the bus for 40mins from downtown while the others are simply a 15min walk away. Not to mention the buses end at 10:30pm at night..uuhh..... As for experiencing the culture here, I'd consider going to a pub at least once should be part of that package. It doesn't mean that you get drunk or out of control. Drinking doesn't even have to be involved. But the atmosphere of a pub is one that we are so familiar with and what is often the social scene for our generation. we meet people, we chit chat we have fun, but if rules and warnings are put forth discouraging participation in such activities. I see that as just being hypocritical.....

These are some of the issues that have been bothering me. It definitely hasn't been a walk in the park. But it’s just the way it is for now.. We have our Mid-Project Weekend Session coming up so that will give us to all sit down and talk about our issues. Many of us are in "different" situations.... and we definitely all have our issues...

Anyways, enough with the venting.. It's thanksgiving weekend. I'll be helping out with preparing for dinner at the Women's Emergency Shelter. That'll be fun, and we're also planning a movie marathon since there are only 3 out of the 9 host families left in town this weekend...

Frustrated

I'm very frustrated with a couple things right now... but I don't want to write soemthing in the heat of the moment. I'll explain myself a bit later....

Days go by...

Getting into the habit of updating my blog is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Sometimes I get a bt mixed up on what I've written in my journalvs. what I've written in my blog...

The past week has been really fun. For our Community Activity Day we went canoeing and kayaking on the Otonabee River and Little Lake. It was a gorgeous day, but the funny part of the day happened about 1 minute after some of us got in the water. Tegemeo tipped his Kayak and into the water he went...hehe.... I know it's mean for laughing but if you were there, you would have been too. All the Tanzanians were either wearing winter jackets or big sweaters, so I’m sure he was pretty bogged down in the water. That was by far my favourite day so far. It was great just floatin' on the lake.. and it was a lot of fun (bit frustrating) teaching the Tanzanians how to canoe as well.
Even some of the Canadians hadn't been canoeing before... lots of excitement for everyone. I was not impressed with the life jacket i got stuck with though... it looked like a kiddie one compared to everyone elses..
Since I'm part of the social committee, I had decided to cook supper for everyone on one of the nights and it just so happened to be on Frank's Birthday. I ended up cooking 7 dishes and thankfully had tons of helpers cutting up veggies for me. Some of them thought I was a bit crazy for being so particular about the way I wanted my carrots or onions..etc cut up.. hehe. That was a really fun night as well. We also 'experience' this Tanzanian tradition of the Birthday Boy feeding everyone a bite of cake, while chanting our names.

I went to a rowing regatta for the first time last saturday. I was actually volunteering at it. One of the other host dads had arranged for Andrea and I to have free rowing lessons with an Olympian, in exchange for some work ofcourse.... so there we were. The regatta had over 1700 participants and over 250 boats.. it was pretty ridiculous. We got yelled at a couple times when helping people since we didn't really know what we were doing (it was our first time seeing rowing first hand). So we learned things by the dock pretty fast then helped keep the finish times by the end of day.

Overall, everything so far has been pleasant nothing over the top but nice. I can sense myself being a bit frustrated at times with the program. Having so many people involved with different backgrounds and ages, it's hard ot please us all. I think we are now starting to realize what this program is really about and why we are here.. or at least trying to make sense of it all when we are frustrated and mad and everything in between.

So many things evolve around our community, but before we do anything we have to understand it. At the same time, we're frustrated because no one seems to understand our needs. At the end of the day we have to keep reminding ourselves that this whole experience/exchange is about first understanding then to be understood. Before we do anything, we should first seek to understand the environment that we are in and how our actions will impact it. Just cuz you built a school in that community doesn't mean it will work in another.

I'm starting to realize that one of my biggest faults is patience.... I always want things to be done quickly and efficiently but it doesn't always work that way. Of course there are external factors playing a part... but cuz of my lack of patience the language barrier between each of us is a huge challenge.

For the past four years, I've had so much independence that I forgot about the other side fo the coin... Now that I'm here, I can't drive, I'm in a program that never really ends... and my friends are far away. It's waaay harder than I thought it would be. The lifestyle change from being a student with extra curriculars to now participating in this program is very different. We do have activities/jobs that keep us busy mon-fri 9-5, but it's just so different from before. As much as I am enjoying the experience, I think for the first time I'm a bit homesick and I miss my lifestyle of being busy. This whole relaxing thing is new to me, I honestly think that I need to be kept busy and always on the go, or else I get bored. So for now, I'm trying to occupy myself with a couple things and focus on some personal projects. I'm hoping that I will get the chance to go somewhere before we leave for Tanzania just for me to get away for a little bit, to not think/deal with of the program every waking minute. Sometimes I wonder, was/is this experience worth the things which I gave up before coming on this exchange? I've been pretty positive this entire time, but I think negativity amongst the group does rub off on each other. Everyone needs their venting sessions, but we just have to remind ourselves why did we come on this in the first place.

My reasons:
1. Experience/understand other perspectives
2. Travel and do something productive
3. Better understand myself and what I want to do in life (reflection time)
4. Meet new people, live somewhere else
5. Understand other communities in Canada and overseas to better understand how my home community compares and what drives mine.

If you are interested in reading more blogs or adventures of what we are doing... Our group has set up another blog-like site (http://mambopress.blogspot.com). This site has little stories of all our adventures; it also has volunteer’s profiles, French word, Tanzanian fact, and much more. It will be updated roughly every 2 weeks.